The Unnamed Account of an Unlikely Expedition
by dscw50
Summary: They have been drafted for an unexpected journey that all else have failed. Somehow, the nobodies of today become the heroes of tomorrow through a quest to turn the tables as the factions of the Alliance look to them to find the King of Stormwind.
1. Chapter 1: Gnomeregan

_Author's Note: Consider this kind of a tribute to my WoW gang and a huge chance for me to level my writing skill. :P All the characters used are either real players or real NPCs, so the only person you can really credit me for is Dionysa, my beloved gnome mage. Speaking of which, if anyone is interested in chilling on WoW with me, hit me up with an email and I'll let you know what server I'm on. I'm not gonna give out the server here because my friends play there too and it'd be kind of like giving out their phone numbers or something._

_Anyway, I'm trying my very best to stick to actual Warcraft facts and history, so if you see anything in here that isn't correct, please let me know and give me a proper source to fix the information with. Obviously I can't know everything about the game, so help is appreciated._

_All in all, in the chapters to follow, you will read of a group of five adventurers who find themselves in over their heads as they are drafted for an unexpected journey that all else have failed. Somehow, the nobodies of today become the heroes of tomorrow through a quest to turn the tables as the factions of the Alliance look to them to find the King of Stormwind._

* * *

It was not the best place for a picnic. A growing mound of leper gnome corpses was their centerpiece. Another cold gust of wind swept through their dinner table, freezing a second heap of the pests just out of reach. The greenish fiends growled and grabbed, but the ice held them in place. Dionysa stuck her tongue out at one and shot a fireball to finish it off.

"Maybe we should just wait until we're back in Kharanos for a party," the mage sighed, "This is getting ridiculous." She brushed the snowy flecks off of her hands.

"But I'm so hungry. I don't have enough energy to walk all the way back," Satiire whined.

"Can't you eat and walk at the same time?"

"Can't you walk and carry me at the same time?"

Thomasd almost choked on his bread. "Hah, I'd love to see the pipsqueak carry you," he laughed through a mouthful of food.

Dionysa scoffed and stood up. She was a gnome, and was therefore the butt of all jokes in the land of Azeroth. Due to their smallish stature and very advanced engineering skills, gnomes were often thought of as the geeky munchkins, who, despite their unmatched inventive intellect, were unable to defend their homeland from the Trogg invasion. The ruins of the once thriving Gnomeregan were now a popular place for exploration and adventure, as the underground chambers of the city were heavily overrun with infected survivors that had been driven mad by the radiation.

Dionysa and her hungry cohorts had just finished a run through the abandoned gnomish capital and were now sprawled out near the entrance, taking a moment to regain some energy and moral. They had barely managed to escape with their lives, but the creatures outside the city were much less threatening than those inside. Still, it made for an annoying rest stop.

Aerandir packed up the rest of his lunch in a neatly folded cloth and tucked it into his knapsack. "I will have to agree with Dionysa on this one. We're rested enough to get back to town without any problems. If you're that exhausted, Satiire, I can carry you." Aerandir adjusted his packs and knelt for Satiire to climb onto his back. He was much better suited than the little gnome for passengers.

Aerandir was a draenei, and was quite a bit bigger than Dionysa, along with all of his other companions. He was considered a little short compared to his people but he still towered over most races at a bold seven feet. If one was unfamiliar with the draenei, Aerandir might have at first appeared intimidating. Due to his majestic pale blue flesh and onyx hooves, he seemed very out of place in contrast with the natives of Azeroth. The draenei people had arrived on this planet after theirs was almost completely destroyed. Their ship, the Exodar, crash landed on an island off of Kalimdor, the western continent. Aerandir had survived the crash and much like his kin, adapted quickly to the new planet and made friends with the Alliance.

"Aw, Aeri, you're such a sweetie," Satiire crawled onto his back and secured her grip around his broad shoulders. Aerandir locked his arms under her legs and bounced her upwards a few times to make sure she wouldn't fall. The tip of his elegant tail swayed under him, brushing lightly against the surface of the snow.

"Shall we go, then?" Aerandir smiled, nodding for Dionysa to lead the way.

Thomasd wolfed down the last of his snack and sprang up to follow. The four began to trudge down the snowy hillside to a path worn in the ground from previous travelers. The trail would lead them back to Kharanos, a small town that, although not quite as magnificent as the dwarven capital of Ironforge, would suit their needs for the night. The sun was beginning to set, and the group agreed their main priority would be finding an inn. Whether they preferred the comfortable sleeping arrangements or the alcoholic prestige of the dwarven breweries was an entirely different matter.

But something felt wrong. "Wait," Dionysa stopped short, nearly tripping the draenei, "We're missing one."

Vvain hadn't said much since they had escaped the ruins. In fact, no one was sure if he had even eaten. Not that it was unlike Vvain to keep quiet or position himself away from the central group. He wasn't very social, but he was never far behind.

"Hey Vvain, come on!" Thomasd called, seizing the opportunity to break out another hunk of jerky from his pouch.

The paladin was sitting cross-legged with his back to the party, unmoved. Dionysa rolled her eyes and plodded back up the slope to retrieve him. Before she could reach him, however, Satiire leaped from Aerandir's back, and with one last burst of energy, slammed herself full force into Vvain's back with an aggravated battle cry.

All at once, Thomasd fell to the ground with a fit of hysterical laughter, Aerandir let out a horrified gasp and galloped to the distressed night elf, and Dionysa just shook her head and grunted. Vvain was lying face down in the snow with a crazed Satiire shaking his shoulders and screaming an indecipherable string of obscenities and curses.

"What are you doing? Have I not made it clear that I'm practically dying? It's time to go back to Kharanos! Let's _go_!" the night elf screamed, pounding her fists into his back.

"Satiire, have you gone mad? You've probably knocked him unconscious!" Aerandir huffed, scooping her up and swiftly deterring her flying limbs. "Thomasd, come calm her. I need both hands to heal."

"No, wait a minute," the mage knelt beside Vvain and managed, with great effort, to flop him onto his back. She roughly placed a small hand on either side of his face and shook him slightly. "Hey, what are you doing? Stop being comatose," she moved closer to his face with an angry glare. He snored loudly, grumbled and rolled over, pinning the poor gnome beneath his comparatively massive chest and bulky mail armor.

"The bastard's not hurt, he's asleep, and he's heavy. Off, now!"

Aerandir again let out a small snort of panic, nearly threw Satiire into the ground and hurried to rescue Dionysa. Thomasd erupted into another burst of laughter. The gnome flailed helplessly under Vvain's weight. A pair of strong blue arms hooked underneath those of the paladin, hauling him upwards.

"Oh my, he's quite a heavy sleeper," Aerandir adjusted his grip on his limp friend, unsure of what to do with him.

With a groan, the little mage pulled herself out of the gnome-shaped imprint in the snow. She brushed herself off and shook the snow out of her pink hair, then whipped the rosewood staff from her back and delivered a swift, stinging blow to the small area on his leg that was not clad in armor. Her intent was to aim higher but she couldn't reach above shin level.

The draenei quickly swung Vvain around, away from the short but fiery threat, dragging his feet over the ground. "Dionysa, put the staff down. He's sleeping; he doesn't know what he's doing."

"I'm not a damned teddy bear," she grumbled, taking another thrust at the paladin. This time the wooden crescent tip bounced off of the metal.

In one fluid motion, Aerandir tucked an arm behind Vvain's knees and swiped him off the ground, turning his back to Dionysa. She tried to lunge forward but was stopped short by a hoof in her stomach. "Quit being foolish. At least wait until he's awake, when he has a fighting chance."

The mage growled. There was no use trying to argue, as Aerandir was big enough to keep her away from Vvain until her anger subsided. Defeated, though not willing to show it, she stomped down the hill and continued on their original path. Thomasd shot a grin at the draenei and followed after her.

Aerandir chuckled quietly to himself. This group was a handful.

Vvain snorted and squirmed in the cradle of Aerandir's arms, trying to get comfortable. He snuggled into his chest with an innocent sigh, and then suddenly, his eyes shot open. The paladin stared into the draenei's tabard for a moment, furrowing his brow. Aerandir did all he could to keep from laughing.

Slowly, his horrified auburn eyes glanced up to meet Aerandir's. A look of utter fear and confusion immediately sprang into his face.

"Good morning, darling. Did you dream of me?" Aerandir tried not to grin as he puckered his lips to make a smooching sound.

Vvain panicked and frantically pushed himself away from the draenei. Aerandir lost his grip and the paladin fell awkwardly into the snow.

"What in the hell are you doing?" he whispered harshly, propping himself up with his elbows. The draenei was unable to contain himself any longer.

"You were in one of your impenetrable sleeping spells," Satiire giggled from behind them. The men jumped.

"Oh, Satiire, I didn't see you there," stuttered the draenei, "I thought you had gone ahead with the others."

"Nope, that's why being a rogue is cool. I'm wicked awesome at hide and seek," she boasted, climbing onto Aerandir's back, "and, you said you would carry me, 'member?"

He sighed, "Of course. We should get moving, then. More leper gnomes will be about soon." He trotted down to the path back to Kharanos.

"Hey! Wait! What's going on? What happened?" Vvain cried, pulling himself up, "and why am I in so much pain?" he groaned and sleepily staggered after them.


	2. Chapter 2: Kharanos

The Thunderbrew Distillery was renowned for its ale. Apart from being the closest inn to the ruins of Gnomeregan, it was the only reason anyone came to Kharanos anymore. Travelers who picked up a mug of the famous Thunderbrew lager were almost forced to stay the night just from the potency of the drink. Since they had already purchased a set of rooms, Thomasd was taking full advantage of this alcoholic delicacy.

"I love you guys," he hiccupped, "a whole lot." With a drunken, ridiculous smile, he threw an arm heavily around Vvain. The paladin slowly eased away from him, having had enough love for the day.

"Take it easy, Tom. You'll end up like Satiire, and no one wants to see that," Dionysa motioned up to the night elf with her mug. She was dancing around on their table, making a complete fool of herself and enjoying every minute of it.

Satiire was not the only one having a good time. The entire tavern was lively, dancing on tables and staggering around in a drunken stupor. A small group of musicians placed themselves in the corner, merrily playing upbeat dwarven melodies that one typically heard in a tavern at prime time. Belm, the innkeeper, stood behind the bar, laughing and chatting with patrons while pouring rounds of drinks. The fireplace was the only source of illumination besides a few small lanterns that hung from the walls. Flames roared and flickered an orange glow around the room.

Aerandir pranced back to the table with an armful of mugs. He passed them out accordingly before reaching up to tug Satiire's shirt back to its proper place before too much was revealed. "Satiire, I think you're getting too excited with your dance," he sighed. The elf giggled and waved her arms in the air.

A few tables away, a dwarf staggered into a chair and split a mug of thunder ale on another engaged in a stalemate arm wrestling match, diverting his attention to let the opposing dwarf win. The losing dwarf erupted into a fit of rage and lobbed a fist into the drunken dwarf's cheek. The drunken dwarf retaliated with a blast of fire and the battle began.

Vvain watched in slight discontent. "A bunch of hammered dwarves in one room doesn't seem very safe." The race had always been known for their stubbornness and short tempers.

"You'd be surprised," the mage said, "Bar fights are pretty rare in here and when they happen, everything's resolved quick." She was more familiar with this area than her companions. Being a gnome, she had spent a lot of time around dwarves, since they lived in the same region. In Gnomeregan, there were no breweries, as they knew they could never compete with the dwarven taverns.

She was right. Vvain glanced over to the brawling table. The arm wrestling match had begun again as if nothing had ever happened. He raised an eyebrow, then, deciding it was unimportant, shrugged it off.

"So what's on the menu for tomorrow?" Dionysa said, changing subjects.

The warlock perked up. "Food?"

"I think she's asking what our next adventure will be," Aerandir chuckled. He pulled Satiire's shirt down once again.

"I heard about this airport that's supposedly unreachable," the mage said, "in the mountains up by Ironforge, between the city, Loch Modan and the Wetlands."

"And if it's unreachable, then obviously we're going to try to get there, huh?" Vvain took a swig from his mug.

"Yep," Dionysa smiled, then grabbed her staff from the back of her chair. She hooked Satiire's top and yanked it down with the crescent moon adorning the tip of her weapon, "And quit trying to strip."

Aerandir pondered, "If the airport is unreachable, then how do we know it exists?"

"No, it exists," the paladin said, "I've seen it. The gryphons fly over it when you ride to the Wetlands. Some dwarves stay there, so it isn't completely inaccessible but there's no real path to it. Actually, I've always wondered what it was for."

"See? Told you," the gnome stuck her tongue out.

Satiire hopped off of the table and plopped into Vvain's lap. Startled, he tried to withdraw but she curled up and fell asleep. He looked to the draenei for helped, but Aerandir just laughed and shrugged his shoulders. With a scoff, Vvain folded his arms and let her be. "How do we get there, then?"

"Most likely from Loch Modan," the shaman suggested. Vvain and Dionysa looked at him questioningly. "Well, the hills from the Wetlands are incredibly steep, and Ironforge takes up most of the mountain space in Dun Morogh. The rest of it is covered in ice and snow, which would be too dangerous. The part of Loch Modan that we are interested in is milder and the rocks should be neither snowy nor slippery. It would make sense to start there." The group nodded. This was true. They were glad to have Aerandir's brains along for the trip, as he had more common sense than the lot of them combined.

Thomasd had long since passed out with his face in a puddle of ale on the table. The paladin grabbed the warlock's shoulder and pushed him against the back of his chair, then took the opportunity to hand off the sleeping night elf. He grinned, feeling accomplished as the two of them slouched against each other.

Seeing the pair and feeling a little tired himself, Aerandir suggested that they turn in for the night. Not surprisingly, Vvain admitted to being sleepy. Dionysa agreed and went to pay the tab as the men played a few rounds of rock-paper-scissors to decide who would be rooming with Thomasd. Vvain won, thankfully. He was already traumatized enough and was afraid how sleeping in the same room with a warlock who had a tendency to get overly friendly when he was smashed would turn out.

Aerandir carefully moved Satiire into another chair and slung his unconscious friend over his shoulder. "I'll see you two in the morning. Sleep well," he smiled and headed through the kitchen, beyond which were the stairs descending to the inn rooms below ground.

Dionysa and Vvain looked at each other, then the mage hinted towards Satiire and gave him a big, suggestive grin. The paladin laughed, finished off his ale and stood up. He scooped the elf from her chair and started off to the stairs. Dionysa followed, yawning.

"Dwarves do make pretty neat buildings," Vvain observed, leading them into a room. The stone walls were surprisingly welcoming. Various hunting trophies decorated the mantle of a small fireplace in the corner, and two beds were snugly placed against the opposite wall. Dionysa claimed one and Satiire was laid in the other. Vvain pulled a blanket over her loosely but she kicked it off. He sighed and replaced it. This time she made no retaliation.

"Okay, thanks, now go away. I'm tired," the mage muttered, beginning to remove her armor.

"Good night to you, too." He left, closing the door behind him. Dionysa kicked off her boots and crawled into bed. The room was dark, aside from the small fire in the corner. She could hear Satiire snoring into a pillow next to her.

Tomorrow would be a good day.


End file.
